Sunday, September 16, 2007

angel love online

As a child growing up, Helon Habila's father wanted him to be an engineer, but he preferred to read Literature. He had his way eventually. Today you can't discuss contemporary Nigerian literature without mentioning his name. "My father was not let down by my choice of career. He wanted me to read Engineering, but that did not mean he didn't respect my choice to be what I wanted to be," he tells Sunday Sun online from the US.

Habila is both a poet and a fiction writer, but it seems he has gravitated towards prose, evident in his last two publications. Has he given up poetry? " No," he replies. He still writes poetry, and hopes to bring out a collection soon. "I am talking with my agent about that. It is harder though to publish poetry than prose, even if you are an already published author. Most publishers prefer to publish prose because it sells more easily than poetry," he remarks.

It took him about five years to publish his latest offering, Measuring Time (2007), after Waiting for Angel (2002). Habila says so many factors contributed to the delay. "One being that it is a bigger and more ambitious book than the first one," he says. "Another being that I was still trying to adjust to life in the UK, and it took me a while to enter a full writing mode. Following the publication of my first novel, and the critical success it got, it was rather hard to settle down to writing because of all the media attention and travel. Also, my two kids were born in that interim. So I was really busy."

Measuring Time, which is on sale now worldwide, is about many things at once. Habila explains that it is a love story, a look at our contemporary history, and also about the main character's ambition to live despite having a terminal illness. He says, "The two main characters are the twins, Mamo and LaMamo, and the book basically traces their life paths after they are separated at the age of 16. The younger twin travels the continent in search of adventure while the sickly elder twin remains home and becomes a sort of low scale intellectual celebrity. The story focuses mainly on the elder twin."

Habila has won a number of literary prizes both in the country and outside. These include the Muson Poetry Prize, Commonwealth Prize and Alfred Caine for African Writing. "They are all good, and they were all landmarks in my career as a writer," he says.
The Muson Poetry Prize kind of got him an entry into the Lagos literary circles, and, of courses, the 50,000-naira prize enabled him to self-publish Prison Stories, the precursor to Waiting for an Angel. The Caine Prize launched his international career. "But the most exciting prizes are the ones I haven't even won yet, the ones waiting to be won," he declares.

When his Prison Notes came out, a reviewer in a Nigerian newspaper described him as the new Wole Soyinka, especially in terms of deployment of diction. "It is a great honour to be compared to Wole Soyinka, he is a writer I respect greatly," he says.
Habila first made a name in Nigeria in journalism, but he has chosen a career in literary scholarship, like most Nigerian writers abroad. Does he think literary scholarship makes it easier to enhance his creative engagement than journalism? "I have always been a literary scholar even when I was a journalist," he begins his answer.

"So journalism was basically one of the hats I wore on the way to where I am now, a hat I am really proud to have worn, and I must say I am still wearing it since I still do pieces for papers at home and outside. I think journalism is even harder than writing fiction, given that as a journalist one is in the eye of the whole world and there just isn't any room for error. It requires courage, and integrity, and discipline, and a certain amount of sophistication. Journalism taught me a lot, and I would recommend it to any young man who wants to get on in the world of letters to start from there," he says.

In a recent article he wrote, "Is this the year of the Nigerian Writer?", he described this year as the year of Nigerian writers, citing Achebe's Man Booker Prize and Chimamanda's Orange Prize, as well as the recent offerings by Biyi Bandele, Helen Oyeyemi, Ben Okri, among other Nigerian writers based abroad, as major indicators; but no mention was made of the efforts at home. That tends to suggest that contemporary Nigerian literature is based abroad as being said in some quarters of Nigeria's literary establishment. Is it really, or is it a question of a disconnect with the home literary scene?

Habila has an excuse to make. "My excuse is that I am not closely in touch with the scene at home to talk about it with authority � so I only talked about what I knew, the books I have read. I don't think my essay in any way suggested that there is no writing or writers working at home. It'd be rather silly to assume that, don't you think?" he asks.

Until 2006, he was an Achebe Fellow at Bard College, New York, USA. How was the experience like? "I had a great time working with him," he is talking about Chinua Achebe. "He is a very wise and informal person, down to earth. One lesson I learned from my year at Bard College is that it is possible to be great and humble at the same time."

Habila graduated with a 2.2 at Unijos, and today his name rings louder than those who made 2.1. What's in a degree? Habila says he didn't go to university to make a 2.1 or a 1st Class. "I only went there to be a writer. Believe me, if I had wanted to make a 1st I'd have done so. I went to university a bit late, I was 20, I think, so I knew exactly what I wanted, and I was lucky to meet the right friends and teachers to put me on that path. It was perhaps the best moment in my life. I felt the awakening of confidence and powers in myself that I didn't know I had before."

It has been said that Nigerian writers based abroad make a mockery of their country by pillorying it in their works according to their publishers' demands. What does he think of this allegation? What's his primary audience as a global writer?
Habila finds this hilarious. "All I can say is that those making such comments are ignorant of the way publishing works. Writers are not sat down and told what to write; they write what they want to write. At least I do. If all I want is to please my publishers, then I don't think I'd be writing what I am writing now �I would be writing airport bestsellers with lots of sex and violence."

Against the background of the recent call for Nigerian/African writers to be steeped in the culture and history of the people by Chinweizu in order to write an authentic African literature, what does he think is the place of cultural valorization in new Nigerian/African literature as against realistic evocations?
Says Habila, "Well, there is a lot of sabre-rattling and finger wagging from the essentialists � you can't escape that.

But if you ask them what is an 'authenticate African literature' they couldn't tell you. They wouldn't recognize it if it spat in their face. Chinweizu and his essentialist posse condemned Clark, Okigbo and Soyinka as imitators of western writers, yet today critics put the same writers up as models for younger writers wanting to write 'authentic African literature'. Art follows no rules, art is kinetic, art sources its materials from far and wide. Provinciality only diminishes it."

Habila recently came back from a reading in Frankfurt, Germany. He has others in Washington and Maryland in the months ahead. What does he find thrilling about these international readings? "Well, I just returned from Frankfurt and it was fun talking about African literature to people who don't know much about it. Everywhere I go there is a genuine desire to discover the new writings from Africa, from Nigeria. This is a great moment in our literature, I think," he replies.

His friend, Binyavanga Wainana, has advocated e-publishing for African writers. Habila differs with his position, because the problem with e-publishing is that it is so temporary and ephemeral. "People will always prefer to hold books in their hands, to write marginalia, to lend it out, to borrow. There is also the problem of not there being enough computers and access to the internet in Africa � so these are some major hindrances to e-publishing," he says.

If he has to make a pick from his oeuvre, which of his works would he consider dearest, as Achebe did by choosing his Arrow of God? "I'll say my favourite is the one I am working on now" is his reply. "I'll advise you to order in advance," he suggests. Won't you? If you thought romancing a pretty girl on the Internet was some thing young Indian males did only in cities, think again. The Internet in villages has brought cupid in tow. And for young boys in small town India, real women are no longer as fun as the virtual ones.


Young boys in small towns get ready for their weekend tryst with romance, nattily dressed, all set to go to the nearest cyber cafe for their date with their virtual girlfriend ― all of whom are named something like Angel Eyes, Sexy Preeti or Beautiful Bani.


The fingers do all the smooth talking. They're persuasive and slick and soon the girl relents and writes back.


In small towns like Karnal, cyber cafes are crowded with young boys who come from nearby villages looking for love.


They walk in and out of chat sites that offer anything from dating and friendship to slightly more complicated things, like as a boy puts it, connecting the mind.





And they are looking for girls with faces like Katrina Kaif and eyes like Aishwarya Rai. Some have simpler needs and say that the girl should be simple ― she should just have long hair and beautiful eyes.


Chat sites connect these boys to places as far away as Romania and Turkey, adding to their thrill of chatting with foreign women. And if they prefer to look for Indian women for serious commitments, there are always the desi online matrimonial portals.


"During Valentines Day especially, a lot of people go to sites where they can send greeting cards to women and stuff. A lot of boys ask us which sites they can go to, to send cards," says Mukesh who handles the Reliance Web World centre in Karnal.


Behind the walls of stifling tradition and family rules, cyberspace provides a unique freedom for these boys.


In real life they are a bunch of shy guys who haven't even spoken to a girl outside the monitor. But once they're transported to the virtual world, they are Casanovas on the prowl.




WELLINGTON, New Zealand ― If Clare Omvig has her way, St. Raphael is about to get even busier.

One of seven archangels, St. Raphael is best known for his role in wedding the Bible's Tobiah with hard-luck Sarah (seven of her previous bridegrooms had died). Omvig is counting on similar intercession today, tabbing the "Angel of Love" as patron of her new Internet dating site, New Zealand Catholic Matchmaker.

Helping Tobiah and Sarah, though, might have been an easier task than connecting today's Catholic singles living amid what Omvig calls a "lost generation."

"Most of the people I went to Catholic primary school with no longer go to church," Omvig wrote from New Zealand via an Internet chat room. "It is difficult for Catholic singles who still identify strongly with the Church to find other like-minded people around their own localities."

Begun in late August, the site (catholicmatchmaker.co.nz) launches fully on Sept. 29 ― Feast of the Archangels.

It joins a bevy of like-minded ventures. "There's hundreds trying to capitalize on this," said Anthony Buono, founder of Ave Maria Singles (avemariasingles.com). "It's a huge business." The unscrupulous, he adds, "can make a fortune on people's loneliness and people's desperation."

The most familiar online dating services today are secular ones like Match.com and eHarmony. But a niche of faith-based sites also have emerged. "All the religions are covered," Buono said, including Catholicism.

And some within the Church are giving such sites their personal imprimatur. Omvig advanced with the blessing and promotion of Archbishop John Dew of Wellington, New Zealand, "without which we would have canned the whole project," she said.

Ave Maria Singles, meanwhile, touts Buono's hour-long EWTN interview with Father Benedict Groeschel, who had a family member meet and marry through the site. CatholicMatch.com's endorsement page leads with the notable Father Frank Pavone of Priests for Life.


Connected … Not
Like the secular sites, said Omvig and Buono, faith-based versions are helping overcome an ironic problem ― disconnectedness in an increasingly connected world. What can differ with Catholic sites, though, is finding soul mates concerned about … souls.

"The No. 1 goal of the site is to build Catholic relationships, engagements, marriages and families for tomorrow's Church," said Omvig, who met her husband, Glen, through a dating site eight years and three children ago. "The second aim is to bring people who identify as Catholic together and form a community of people who relate because of that one common thing.

"The third aim is to give people who have not been in a church for a long while the opportunity to look at their Catholicism again ― and perhaps link up with groups in our Church that may help them work through why they left and why they might like to come back."

Buono said the No. 1 goal of Ave Maria Singles is "to follow in line with John Paul II's call to bring Christ back into society" through marriage, family and solid Catholic teaching.

Such evangelism generates content not offered on eHarmony. Catholic dating sites have regular features found elsewhere ― instant messaging, online chatting, message boards, blogs, "success stories," profile searches, etc. But then comes faith.

New Zealand Catholic Matchmaker, for instance, offers a chaplain to answer theological or spiritual questions. The Omvigs also are working toward making mentor couples available for advice and prayer.

CatholicMatch provides links to a daily Catechism, faith-based polls and a weekly Catholic trivia contest. Ave Maria Singles links to a second Buono site (roadtocana.com) with resources for helping an individual become "marriage material." CatholicSingles has an advice column from Sister Paula Vandegaer, executive director of the pro-life group International Life Services. CatholicMingle offers inspirational spiritual cards and a Bible verse search.

Membership itself also varies, of course. Ave Maria's profile-building questions weed out non-Catholics or those unfaithful to Church teaching.

"We're probably the only ones out there who want to make sure most people don't join the site," said Buono. "There are 60 million Catholics and it's only about 10% at best that are truly in line with all the teaching of the [Church] and want to follow it.

"The big one for our members is the contraception question. That seems to be a benchmark. It might be a stupid business model. It certainly works in keeping the membership small, but it's very robust. It's very solid, full of people who believe."

Using a Catholic dating service can help red-flag potential religious conflicts.

"I think our Catholic Church has been weakened in my generation, especially when people choose to marry outside the Church," said Omvig. "They drift away because their spouse/partner does not believe what they do, and I think it is harder, too, to not share that most important commonality ― their faith and religion. It puts stress on couples."

The sites are relatively inexpensive. New Zealand Catholic Matchmaker is free until Sept. 29, then NZ$14.97 per month. CatholicMatch services start at $12.49 per month. Ave Maria Singles charges a one-time fee of $159 but nothing thereafter. CatholicSingles and CatholicMingle offer similar rates.

There are critics of the sites. Buono hears that the sites should be free, that they're "meat markets" or that members feel helpless sifting through so many profiles.

But there are successes, too, especially as the stigma of appearing desperate by using such sites abates.

Omvig's start-up already had 76 members by late August. Ave Maria Singles boasts nearly 12,000 members, about 5,000 of whom are active. Of that, it points to 1,400 married or engaged couples. CatholicMatch calls itself the largest service. Statistics on its site say that "hundreds" have met through their service.

Devin and Catherine Rose of Austin, Texas, met initially on CatholicMatch.com, reunited on Ave Maria Singles and were married Oct. 7, 2006 (Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary), less than a year after meeting. Devin had been using the various Catholic sites for nearly five years. Catherine had been with them for just two months. The couple followed Buono's advice of accelerating the relationship from e-mail to phone conversations to meeting in person.

"There are real difficulties of getting to know someone online first," Devin said. "It's amazing how much meeting in person tells you so much about whether you're attracted to another person. Just reading about them, you can't really know whether you're going to be attracted to them in the totality of their person."

Buono admitted much the same.

"Online dating, as I always say, is very unnatural," he said. "It's just not a natural way to meet people. Only in person is when it's natural. Online will always just be whatever people choose to write about. But in person, all the levels of the mask come off. Use the site as a networking tool to get in person, and when you're in person, that's when you can start to let go of your heart, when it makes sense."

And don't forget a prayer to St. Raphael.

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